#practice kindness

[pinkfloyd-musicartnaturelove]

I appreciate the tenderness with which you speak about David's various 'stages'. I find the majority of the fandom to be rather cruel about the changes in his appearance through the years, and I think it's awful.

This comment means a lot, thank you. Perhaps it's because I have a little age on me that I can appreciate how we change because of situations, circumstances beyond our control, and the basic and natural act of growing older. Like nature, we expand and shrink, weather and break down, and become different versions of ourselves. Empathy and compassion, it is a pity it's not practiced more. Thank you again. It's a little thing that means a lot.

[medina-promos]

[sabertoothwalrus]

I don't know why it took me a couple re-readings of this scene to realize they're in Laios & Falin's room at the inn. I wanted to use background details to piece together where each of them are standing.

The first time I read it, I assumed everyone was crowding around outside like the ending of how to train your dragon, but since they're on the second floor, they're actually all crowded in the hallway! somehow that detail is a lot cuter to me :D

[island-in-the-shadows]

the patron saint of kindness

🥹🥹🥹

Thank you!

"The only thing I do know is that we have to be kind. Please, be kind. Especially when we don't know what's going on." - Waymond Wang, Everything Everywhere All At Once

[sealsdaily]

Today's Seal Is: Bucket Boy

[art-for-a-reason]

It's very much putting into the world what you would like to get out of it, that feedback loop. The more you practice this wherever you are, the more it becomes habit. People will absolutely remember you, as well, and the first time somebody at their work (who deals with hundreds of people a day) calls you by your name when they see you again, it's like a serotonin tsunami. 100/100 Highly recommend.

So, inspired by being treated like dipshit garbage at my job, I would like to make a recommendation:

When you are having a bad time, especially when you are having that bad time because someone was a real fucking shit head at you, go to a store. You can retail therapy if that is useful and not like a slippery slope or something for you, whatever, I'm not your mom, but the critical thing I want to suggest in these situations is to just be very kind to a few people.

Of course you should always be nice to people working in retail environments, because they are frequently being absolutely worked within an inch of their life for not enough money, but here I mean things like:

Tell the folks in the small store at the mall that their store looks really nice and you can tell they work hard to maintain it.

Fill out the little surveys you get on receipts or whatever and be sure to mention especially how good the staff of the store you were in were. People who are mentioned specifically in feedback like this often get at least praise and like a $5 gift card from upper management. It is not a lot, but it can feel nice!

Tell the barista stuck at the coffee shop that their hair looks awesome.

Say the same thing to your fellow lost souls of humanity in Walmart. No one is in Walmart because they are having the best time.

Tell someone her leggings are really cute.

Tell your cashier that you hope that the rest of his shift goes quickly and painlessly!

Thank people, but do it specifically and sincerely. Tell them not just thank you but, "Thanks for your help, I really appreciate your time." "Thanks for the work you put into this." "Thank you for getting that for me, that was really nice of you." That sort of thing. People are used to 'thank you" as a ritual phrase that is just kind of a default. It can stop sounding sincere or like anything except the sounds you expect to hear after you do a task. But if you recognize what somebody did, even if it is a small thing, and personalize it, they will actually hear the thanks, they will remember it.

I often do this on my instacart feedback. I say "Thank you for your hard work/effort/service today, you really helped me out," in all my little comment boxes. Because they really do help me out. I can't carry all my groceries up the stairs, so they do a lot for me.

Don't lie or be insincere, just think a little bit about all the people who could just use a little extra positive feelings from other folks to get through the day, just like you. People like knowing that the work they're doing is not mindless bullshit.

All of these interactions make people feel nice about themselves and then they feel nice about you and then you feel nice about yourself and then your manager who is a dick can fuck off because not only did you get over their poisonous bullshit but you help some other people out of theirs too.

It will help you toward feeling better after people being nasty to you when you see surprised and delighted reactions from other people who didn't expect to be told that they were doing a good job or that their hair looks nice.

It's like a ranged attack of serotonin and dopamine and you can hit just like everybody within range of the checkout line, yourself included.

[raemcdaniel-author]

New podcast Episode!

See it here:

[blondie-drawings]

KISS! THAT! ANDROID!

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

Plain-text version:

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[nhura]

QUICK NO ONE'S LOOKING

(See readmore for thoughts, cope, bonus, etc.)

Anyone else up thinking about Ratio's big, strong, secure arms and how warm and all-consuming they could be in a hug or embrace. :/ Anyway

I just wanted to draw them being cute and seizing a sliver of a moment where they could have some PDA silly time without actually having any eyes on them. They're public figures and working adults with very clear boundaries between public persona and private life (to varying degrees of "in a sad way"), so while it may be in Aventurine's nature to constantly blur lines for various agendas and self-preservation (read: play "the flirt" without an aligned goal), I believe that in an actual relationship they'd be fairly private.

It's kind of fun to break your own rules, though! Ratio would be more upset about the consequences, though. He's a little bit of a hypocrite, which is devastating for someone of such discipline, but nobody's perfect.

I'm of the mentality of, "If you're tired of working on it, then just post it!", so here are some fun peripherals that I didn't feel like adding:

Some staff in the background sweeping up to evoke a blended sense of fragile privacy and liminal time.

A laptop on the aquarium/bar/counter because there's something fascinating about seeing people on their work laptops in public.

The rest of their clothes (casual friday)

[aliosne]

Saw a post about working class butches in physical labour jobs and wanted to make my own, so: I love you butches who do childcare or early education. I love you butch nurses. I love you butch house cleaners and janitorial staff. I love you service industry butches. I love you butches who do sex work. I love you working class butches who do “feminine” jobs you are cool as hell

[buppkizz]

engie birthday pt 2...a gift from spy

[rjshope]

he looks so good in glasses i'm too stunned to speak

[heartorbit]

holy quintet looks kind of different

[2hoothoots]

been chatting with a friend who's playing through PN2 again and i want it to be known i will not hear anyone say a WORD about Hollis giving Raz a hard time at the beginning of the game. if anything she is OUTSTANDINGLY accommodating to this random ten-year-old who wandered in unattended off the plane in the middle of an extremely tense situation

[99kahoy]

mayor iceburg in mixed media—front, back, and sides of the canvas